Imagine putting your baby down to sleep awake and she just dozes off to sleep, completely on her own. You don't have to do any work. Just lay her down, and walk out of the room. She doesn't cry, whine, or get upset, just peacefully falls asleep. You would probably tell me that I'm nuts, and this is impossible! I don't blame you, I didn't think it was possible either, but it is. This is exactly how my little one falls asleep. I taught her to fall asleep on her own, and this is exactly what she does every night, no crying, no fighting. She is able to self soothe. The best part of teaching her to fall asleep on her own, is that she is able to fall back asleep in the middle of the night, when she wakes from a sleep cycle. Meaning no unnecessary nighttime wakings. (Read about why your baby should be falling asleep on her own here)
Getting your baby to self soothe, or fall asleep on his or her own is an amazing accomplishment, that will solve most, if not all of your sleep troubles. However, it is probably the hardest part of sleep training. I have answered many emails on an individual basis regarding this topic. I even wrote up my my own plan, to helping your babies fall asleep on their own, and emailed it out. What I have learned is that moms usually wait too long to address this problem. How can you all of the sudden teach a 6 month old to fall asleep on their own, when they have never done that before? They are going to put up a fight like you wouldn't believe! So here are some of my best tips to helping your baby fall asleep on her own.
- Solid bedtime routine. Make sure you have a consistent bedtime routine for your baby. Same routine, same time each night. This is very important, and I can't stress it enough. You can't expect a baby to cooperate when their sleep schedule is all over the place, or the routine is always different. A consistent routine gives your baby predicability. When they know what to expect they are more likely to accept it.
- Move feeding or nursing. If you are feeding or nursing your baby to sleep, you are going to want to break that sleep association. So what you do is move the feeding to the beginning of your bedtime routine. This way your baby has the opportunity to fall asleep on her own and not in your arms. If your routine was bath-book-feed. It should now be feed-bath-book. If your baby stays awake after a feed, it's fine to leave the feed as last in the routine.
- Put your baby down, "drowsy but awake". I know you have probably heard this a million times, but this is truly the best way to go about this. If your baby is wide awake, your going to have a hard time getting her to go down. So make sure she is very sleepy or "drowsy" before you lay her down.
- Pick a sleep training method and stick to it. Do it over and over if you have to. Even if that means you are picking your baby up, and putting her back down, over and over, like a maniac. The plan is that you pick a method and stick to your method. Your baby will eventually tire out and accept what you are trying to accomplish, and she will just fall asleep.
- Buy a good sleep training program. If you have tried different methods, and nothing is working, you may have to buy a program to help you. Chances are your baby may have very strong sleep associations, and this is not going to be any easy fix. I recommend the Sleep Sense Program. You can read my review on it here.
- Don't ignore your baby's cries. If your baby is crying, she is communicating a need. She's probably scared, after all, this is all new to her. Respond, and respond right away. Let your baby trust you. If she's crying and you don't respond, how will she ever learn to trust what you are teaching her?
- Stay with your baby. Some babies feel more at ease knowing you are right beside them. Your baby needs to learn the skills to fall sleep on her own. Leaving her might scare her, and she won't even want to try to fall asleep. Eventually, when your baby masters this, you won't have to stay with her at all. But in the beginning you're going to have to show her that you won't leave her and it's ok for her to fall asleep.
- Don't give up! This is most important. Many times moms see how difficult and overwhelming the first night can be, they give up, and don't get to see that it gets easier. The second night is easier than the first, and the third gets even better. By the end of the week your baby will most likely be falling asleep on her own in under 5 minutes. Even if it takes 2 weeks, that's a great accomplishment, so don't give up!
Remember that you don't have to stop nursing, rocking, or cuddling your baby, to teach her to fall asleep on her own. In fact I encourage an abundance of that. Just don't let that, be the reason she falls asleep. You can incorporate nursing, rocking, or anything else your baby enjoys into your bedtime routine. Just make sure your baby stays awake, so that she can fall asleep on her own in the end.
Teaching a baby to fall asleep on her own is one of my specialties. For more advice or a step by step process take a look at my Consultation Packages.
