Baby Sleep Training: The Basics

So you decided that enough is enough! You need your sleep and sanity back! And the only way to do that is by creating some structure in your baby's sleep routine. Well sleep training will do just that. You don't have to think of sleep training as some harsh means of controlling your baby. And you certainly don't have to hear them cry all night. In fact, there doesn't have to be much crying at all. There are many things you can do to help your baby get to sleep, and stay asleep.

 Here are some of my best sleep training tips:

• The best place to start is a solid, and consistent bedtime routine, at a descent hour. This will help teach your baby predictability. The more they know what's coming, the more likely they are to accept it. You can start by something simple like a bath and reading a book. It doesn't have to be anything complex. As long as it is the same routine, every night, at the same time. Eventually your baby will get use to this routine and know it's time to go to bed 
•  Create a good sleeping environment. This may include things such as: room darkening shades, swaddling if your baby is young, comfortable jammies, proper room temperature. Anything you can do to make them as comfortable as can be, to promote a restful nights sleep.
• The next thing is a biggie. What I always try to teach everyone, is to put your baby to sleep drowsy but awake. This may be a little difficult but it is essential to getting your baby to sleep through the night. Your baby has to learn the skills to fall asleep independently, so that she may do the same when she wakes in the middle of the night. A baby that falls asleep, by rocking or nursing, will expect the same thing when they wake at night. A baby has many short sleep cycles, so they wake up a lot, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to keep running in her room to rock or nurse her back to sleep. Do yourself and your baby a favor and put her down to sleep awake. It's the best thing you can do for your baby's sleep. Just this step alone should solve most if not all of your sleep troubles.
• The next important step is to find a sleep training method or program. Sleep training is not easy, and neither is teaching your baby how to fall asleep independently. It's going to take major work and your going to need help, there's nothing wrong with that. There are many programs out there for you to choose, but most of them are divided into the following: Are you going to let your child cry it out until they fall asleep? Or are you going to go in and comfort them? Take a stand, and pick your program. There are some programs that utilize both crying and comforting, but if you feel uncomfortable with letting your baby cry at all, that won't work. So think long and hard about how you want to do this, because once you start, you're going to have to be firm and consistent. I highly recommend the Sleep Sense Program. I wrote a review on it here. If you don't want to buy a program, you can try a variety of different methods created by "sleep experts" to see what works, but this may take a lot more time and patience. It will be a trial and error kind of thing. To learn more about those methods refer to my article Baby Sleep Training: No Cry Methods There are also my least 2 favorite techniques "controlled crying", where you allow your baby to cry, but check on them at intervals, or just let them "cry it out" completely. There are many choices, pick something you feel comfortable with, and something you can actually see yourself committing to.
• The last, and most important piece of advice I can offer is be consistent, and don't give up! Whichever program or method you choose, no matter how hard it gets, and how badly you want to give up, stick to it! If your baby takes and hour to fall asleep the first night and 50 minutes the next, that's progress. Take every day at a time, don't look too far ahead and hope your baby is going to be sleeping through the night within a few days. Sleep training takes time, patience, and commitment. And think about what your poor baby is going through, this isn't easy for them either. They want to be able to just fall asleep and stay asleep too. It's a process you have to go through together. If your lucky you can sleep train your baby within a week, but for most it's going to take a bit longer. It's not easy, but I promise you the uninterrupted, blissful night's sleep, is so worth it in the end. Good luck, happy sleep training!

For more help and information on how to get your baby to sleep through the night, please take a look at my Personal Consultation Packages

How to Teach Your Baby to Fall Asleep Independently

Self sooth
Imagine putting your baby down to sleep awake and she just dozes off to sleep, completely on her own. You don't have to do any work. Just lay her down, and walk out of the room. She doesn't cry, whine, or get upset, just peacefully falls asleep. You would probably tell me that I'm nuts, and this is impossible! I don't blame you, I didn't think it was possible either, but it is. This is exactly how my little one falls asleep. I taught her to fall asleep on her own, and this is exactly what she does every night, no crying, no fighting. She is able to self soothe. The best part of teaching her to fall asleep on her own, is that she is able to fall back asleep in the middle of the night, when she wakes from a sleep cycle. Meaning no unnecessary nighttime wakings. (Read about why your baby should be falling asleep on her own here)

Getting your baby to self soothe, or fall asleep on his or her own is an amazing accomplishment, that will solve most, if not all of your sleep troubles. However, it is probably the hardest part of sleep training. I have answered many emails on an individual basis regarding this topic. I even wrote up my my own plan, to helping your babies fall asleep on their own, and emailed it out. What I have learned is that moms usually wait too long to address this problem. How can you all of the sudden teach a 6 month old to fall asleep on their own, when they have never done that before? They are going to put up a fight like you wouldn't believe! So here are some of my best tips to helping your baby fall asleep on her own.

• Solid bedtime routine. Make sure you have a consistent bedtime routine for your baby. Same routine, same time each night. This is very important, and I can't stress it enough. You can't expect a baby to cooperate when their sleep schedule is all over the place, or the routine is always different. A consistent routine gives your baby predicability. When they know what to expect they are more likely to accept it.
• Move feeding or nursing. If you are feeding or nursing your baby to sleep, you are going to want to break that sleep association. So what you do is move the feeding to the beginning of your bedtime routine. This way your baby has the opportunity to fall asleep on her own and not in your arms. If your routine was bath-book-feed. It should now be feed-bath-book. If your baby stays awake after a feed, it's fine to leave the feed as last in the routine.
• Put your baby down, "drowsy but awake". I know you have probably heard this a million times, but this is truly the best way to go about this. If your baby is wide awake, your going to have a hard time getting her to go down. So make sure she is very sleepy or "drowsy" before you lay her down.
• Pick a sleep training method and stick to it. Do it over and over if you have to. Even if that means you are picking your baby up, and putting her back down, over and over, like a maniac. The plan is that you pick a method and stick to your method. Your baby will eventually tire out and accept what you are trying to accomplish, and she will just fall asleep.
• Buy a good sleep training program. If you have tried different methods, and nothing is working, you may have to buy a program to help you. Chances are your baby may have very strong sleep associations, and this is not going to be any easy fix. I recommend the Sleep Sense Program. You can read my review on it here.
• Don't ignore your baby's cries. If your baby is crying, she is communicating a need. She's probably scared, after all, this is all new to her. Respond, and respond right away. Let your baby trust you. If she's crying and you don't respond, how will she ever learn to trust what you are teaching her? 
• Stay with your baby. Some babies feel more at ease knowing you are right beside them. Your baby needs to learn the skills to fall sleep on her own. Leaving her might scare her, and she won't even want to try to fall asleep. Eventually, when your baby masters this, you won't have to stay with her at all. But in the beginning you're going to have to show her that you won't leave her and it's ok for her to fall asleep.
• Don't give up! This is most important. Many times moms see how difficult and overwhelming the first night can be, they give up, and don't get to see that it gets easier. The second night is easier than the first, and the third gets even better. By the end of the week your baby will most likely be falling asleep on her own in under 5 minutes. Even if it takes 2 weeks, that's a great accomplishment, so don't give up!

Remember that you don't have to stop nursing, rocking, or cuddling your baby, to teach her to fall asleep on her own. In fact I encourage an abundance of that. Just don't let that, be the reason she falls asleep. You can incorporate nursing, rocking, or anything else your baby enjoys into your bedtime routine. Just make sure your baby stays awake, so that she can fall asleep on her own in the end.

Teaching a baby to fall asleep on her own is one of my specialties. For more advice or a step by step process take a look at my Consultation Packages.

Chamomile for Babies

                  Chamomile:The Wonder Herb

I absolutely love this herb. When Brianna was a few weeks old she was crying every evening at the same time (characteristic of gas/colic). Our Pediatrician recommended .5oz of Chamomile Tea. She stopped crying the minute I gave it to her. I gave it to her anytime I saw signs of gassiness or discomfort. This herb worked wonders, no more crying, no more kicking her legs in pain. She was like a new baby, I couldn't believe how well this worked. I gave it to her very diluted, you don't want to make it too strong because your baby may reject it. Try giving it a little at a time to see how your baby tolerates it. Although I have never heard of any dangers, please check with your Pediatrician before you take any my advice.

Colic, gas, sore tummy,
Chamomile tea can soothe a colicky or gassy baby.  Although colic has no identifiable cause, it can stem from gastrointestinal discomfort. Chamomile has long been a remedy for intestinal spasms so that's why it works great for colic. It has been used for centuries and has a long track record for safety. In one of two clinical trials  published by the American Academy of Pediatrics "68 healthy term infants who had colic (2 to 8 weeks old) received either herbal tea (German chamomile, vervain, licorice, fennel, balm mint) or placebo tea (glucose, flavoring). Each infant was offered treatment with every bout of colic, up to 150 mL/dose, no more than three times a day. After 7 days of treatment, parents reported that the tea eliminated the colic in 57% of the infants, whereas placebo was helpful in only 26% (P<0.01). No adverse effects were noted in either group."


Better sleep
Chamomile is also known for its soothing and relaxing properties. It is used as a natural sleep aid. So not only will it sooth a gassy baby but help your baby relax. Babies need their sleep just as much as we do. This herb can help relax a inconsolable baby so both of you can be happy.

Teething
No need to use dangerous over the counter teething jells. The FDA issued a warning against the use of those products anyway. Chamomile is great for teething. Soak a clean washcloth in the tea and let your baby gnaw on it. The soaked wash cloth can also be frozen for an added benefit. It also does wonders for teething when given to drink. 1-2oz should be enough depending on the age of your baby. The relaxing property of the herb will help take the edge off the teething pain naturally.

Tip:
Buy a Sassy Strawberry or Grape Teether. You can put ice cubes in it, dip it in the chamomile tea and put it back in the freezer for a couple minutes. This works great for teething!

                                          

Others
Studies have also confirmed that Chamomile has anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, anti-pyretic, anti-allergenic properties. But because I strongly suggest those types of serious conditions be investigated by your pediatrician, I will not even include the uses of Chamomile in such conditions. I do not advocate any home treatment of infections, rashes, or fevers etc. I'm just simply sharing the endless wonders of Chamomile with you.

Time to Share!

Expert sleep advice from Dr. Jodi Mindell

In this week's Time to Share, I want to introduce someone who is an expert on sleep. With a list of credentials like hers, you know you are getting expert sleep advice, that you could trust.

Dr. Jodi A. Mindell, Professor of Psychology and Director of Graduate Psychology at Saint Joseph's University in Philadelphia, is a clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric sleep medicine. Dr. Mindell is also the associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Mindell has written extensively on pediatric sleep disorders and presented over 200 papers at national and international conferences. She is the author of Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep (HarperCollins, 2005), Sleep Deprived No More: From Pregnancy to Early Motherhood - Helping You and Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night (Marlowe, 2007), and co-author of A Clinical Guide to Pediatric Sleep: Diagnosis and Management of Sleep Problems (Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2003) and Take Charge of Your Child's Sleep: The All-in-One Resource for Solving Sleep Problems in Kids and Teens (Marlowe, 2005).

Additionally, Dr. Mindell is the associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She is also vice-chair of the Board of Directors of the National Sleep Foundation. She chaired the National Sleep Foundation's Sleep in America 2004 poll which focused on sleep in children ages 10 and under and their parents/caregivers, and co-chaired the Sleep in America 2006 poll that targeted adolescent sleep. Dr. Mindell has made over 200 radio and television appearances discussing children's sleep disorders. Furthermore, she is on the Advisory Board of Johnson's Baby, on the Board of Advisers of Parents magazine, and a member of the Medical Advisory Board for BabyCenter.com.Yes Dr. Mindell is very impressive, and someone I look up to. Here is some expert sleep advice from her.

Time to Share!

This is probably the coolest tool out there. It's a customized sleep report designed by sleep expert Dr. Jodi Mindell for Johnson's baby. After answering a few questions, you will get a report on your baby's sleep patterns and problems. You can also see how other babies in that age group compare. You might be pleasantly surprised to see, that your little one actually isn't that bad at all. Take a look, this is great! http://www.johnsonsbaby.com/sleep/?goPage=sleep

Most Common Reasons Babies Wake Up at Night

    
Using Props

The use of props to help a baby fall asleep, is the number one reason a sleeping baby wakes up at night (something I learned from the Sleep Sense Program)  Here are some common props or sleep associations: 

• Bottle or breastfeeding to sleep, 
• Rocking to sleep 
• Swinging to sleep
• White noise machines
• Movement in a carseat or stroller.
• Even the *pacifier if your baby is dependent on it. 

Anything your baby relies on to fall asleep, she will also need when she wakes up at night. She will not be able to soothe herself back to sleep, without that particular prop. Your baby should always go to sleep awake, *without any props. Trust me, your baby will find a way to soothe herself. When Brianna was in the  HALO SleepSack , she would rub her face against the sheets. She would turn her head side to side, until she fell asleep. She now sways her hand across the sheets back and forth. The texture of the sheet soothes her, and she falls asleep. That would never cross my mind as soothing, but that's what she does. We even bought her these velour sheets, which she absolutely loved.

By teaching your baby to fall asleep on her own, and getting rid of sleep props, you will solve most, if not all of your sleep troubles. I am not suggesting, by any means, to be cold or harsh to your baby. As a matter of fact you want to do everything you can, to comfort your baby before bed. Kisses, hugs, and cuddling, that's the best part of our bedtime routine! You want to do that to make your baby feel safe, secure, and loved. Just don't make that the reason they fall asleep. Here is my article about sleep associations.

***A few notes I need to make. You don't want to impose anything strict on a newborn. You need to give them some time to transition. When you first bring your newborn home, you may need some props such as a white noise machine. It can help your baby associate night with sleep-time, since babies have an immature circadian rhythm (more on that below). Certain props such as womb sounds, will also help your baby transition into the outside world, remember they are very confused when they finally make their grand entrance.

***Another note, is on the use of the pacifier. I encourage the use of a pacifier because it has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. However, if your baby is crying in the middle of the night because it fell out, and you need to go and put it back in, then you might want evaluate if you really want to use it. This is a personal choice, one you will have to make weighing your pros and cons. I thought Brianna was reliant on the pacifier, then I put her to the test. I took the binky away, and let her fall asleep without it for a few nights, and she didn't cry for it. So I knew she wasn't relying on it. She falls asleep with it, but doesn't care when it falls out. So I decided to keep it. I think I would of kept it either way, at least for the first few months because of the whole SIDS thing. Tell a nurse something reduces SIDS, and she's not going to think twice.
 
Circadian  Rhythm

 It's also known as our biological clock. It's a 24 hour pattern of biological activities that occur in our body. The sleep-wake cycle is part of that circadian rhythm. In the sleep-wake, our body releases certain hormones during nighttime to help us fall asleep. It also releases daytime hormones to make us wake up. Babies are born with an under developed circadian rhythm. That's why when you bring them home from the hospital, they sleep during the day, and are awake at night. Also, don't forget throughout your pregnancy, your baby was rocked to sleep during the day by your movements. You most likely felt her movements at night, when she was awake! So what can you do to help your little night owl? Just keep your baby on a regular feeding cycle. Keep the blinds open, turn on the t.v or radio, and just go about your day as you normal would to help create an association with daytime. Then at night, obviously the exact opposite. Quiet all noise, turn down the lights, and establish your bedtime routine. Be patient it can take some babies up to 8 weeks to know the difference between day and night. To complicate things even more, melatonin (the sleep hormone) is not produced until a baby is about 3 months old. So don't get discouraged, it takes a while for a baby to settle into this world.

Startle Reflex

Also known as the Moro reflex, is a normal infantile reflex. When some stimulus causes the baby to startle, the legs flex and the arms stretch out. This stimulus can be a loud noise, an unexpected touch, or a bad dream. This reflex lasts only a few seconds but can wake a sleeping baby. Some babies can drift right back to sleep others will completely wake up. This reflex usually diminishes by 4 months of age. Until then the  Swaddle SleepSack is great. Those nifty velcro patches were intended to keep the babies arms inside and prevent wakening from the startle reflex. Don't believe me? Check it out! I watched Brianna, completely wake up from the startle reflex over and over. Her arms would fan out and she was awake! That's when I decided to put her in the Swaddle Sack. She slept so much better.


Temperature 
  
At one point Brianna started waking more frequently for a few days in a row, right at the start of winter. I noticed her little hands and feet were cold. Now it's pretty warm in our house. As a matter of fact, I slept in shorts and a tank top. Apparently that wasn't warm enough for Brianna. I had to adjust the temperature for her. When I did, she was back to her normal sleep schedule. The same thing happened in the summer when it got really warm out. At this point she was sleeping through the night, and I found her waking up a few nights...apparently it was too warm for her. It's only April, I thought! I never turn on the air condition this early! I had to put a low fan setting on the a.c. and that kept her comfortable. Babies are picky about the right temperature. We naturally regulated their temperatures for them, while they were in utero. Now, it's a little bit more difficult to get that temperature just right.

Hunger

Ok this may sound self explanatory but it's not. You may Think your baby is hungry, but she may not be. Here are some clues your baby is waking up because she is truly hungry:

1.She's wakes up whining at first, then transitions into a louder and louder cry. If your baby wakes up hysterical, she's probably waking up because she's scared or confused not because she's immediately hungry. Babies will wake up screaming if they fell asleep in your arms, and didn't go to sleep on their own. They wake up alarmed, wondering where they are, and where you disappeared.

2. She is waking up consistent with her daytime feeding schedule. Meaning if she's eating every 4 hours during the day, she will probably do the same at night. Now this can be purely out of habit, so continue reading to see if other clues are present

3. When your baby is eating, you hear loud, audible swallows. What I mean is, she is not just playing around, suckling a little here, a little there. She is truly drinking and actively eating. Some babies wake up from a sleep cycle, and just want to be soothed back to sleep, and the bottle or breast is obviously going to do the trick. Brianna was infamous for this for a while. She would wake up, suckle a little, and fall right asleep on me. I would slip her into bed and half hour to an hour later, she did it again. She wasn't hungry. She was using me as a soother!

4. Your baby stays awake during the entire feeding, and usually drinks a large bottle or feed from both breasts. A baby wouldn't be able to eat that much, if she was not hungry. If her stomach was full, she would probably eat a little bit and fall asleep on the bottle or breast. If that's the case she is using you or the bottle for comfort.

5.Here's the biggie, your baby falls asleep after you place her back in the crib awake! Now only a content baby could do that. If you fulfilled her need for calories because she was hungry, and she falls asleep knowing that she is back in her crib, then she was definitely hungry. Otherwise she would put up a fight and stay awake.

When Brianna was finally waking only to eat, I knew she was truly hungry. By now I learned the difference. She would guzzle her milk like it's the last time she would ever have it. She stayed awake the whole time with the sole intention of eating. She didn't play around, waste time, or fall asleep on the breast. When she was done (usually within 10min), I would place her back in the crib awake. She fell asleep right away, of course so did I, and we both woke up with a smile in the morning. And she did this until she was just about 8 months. I hated when people told me by baby should of been sleeping through the night a long time ago. Really? so I'm suppose to ignore her cry for hunger??? Trust me, I know my baby I thought, and I just continued to read her cues. When she was ready and mature enough to feel satiated throughout the night, she didn't wake anymore and that's that. Every baby is different. I even emailed the Sleep Sense Program who's opinion I truly value, just to make sure I was doing things right by still feeding her, and this is the response I got:

Hi Violet,

That is absolutely fine then as long as she is staying awake for it and falling asleep in her bed, on her own afterward. You're on the right path!

Best,

Regan Forsyth
Sleep Sense Client Support

Growth Spurt

We all heard about this right? Your baby grows at a rapid rate and needs to eat more. Common growth spurts are 7-10 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months give or take a little, they are not exact. Brianna must of hit ever single one of these. She was on a great sleep schedule, then all of the sudden started waking frequently. I knew it was only a growth spurt, because it only lasted 3-4 days. After a while, I loved growth spurts. Because at the end of each growth spurt, she would get right back on her sleep schedule, but slept a little bit longer. Just feed on demand during a growth spurt. If you are breastfeeding, don't worry about your supply being low. Your supply will actually increase to meet the demand of your baby. I always thought it was cool how that works. Don't forget to drink extra fluids, your going to be thirsty from all the feedings. And if you are bottle feeding, your partner can help with the extra feedings. Growth spurts can be exhausting but thankfully they don't last long.

New Developmental Skill

Your baby learned how to kick, roll, sit or stand and now they want to do it all night. Sound familiar? You can't stop a baby from exploring her new skills. For younger babies, the Swaddle Sack is great. You can use it up until your baby starts to roll. It keeps their little arms and legs inside. At first I felt a little weird about using it. Why should I restrain my baby? I thought. But you're not actually restraining your baby. You are keeping her snug, and preventing her from even getting the idea of kicking or swinging her arms. At first I was swaddling Brianna in a regular receiving blanket. It didn't take long for her to slip out of there. As soon as an arm or leg broke loose, she fully woke up to further experiment. With the SleepSack , that never even crossed her mind because, her extremities never came out of it. She slept so soundly in it. You see why I love this thing?

When Brianna learned how to sit and crawl, that's all she wanted to do. I would put her in the crib awake, and up she went. When this happens, all you need to do is gently remind your baby it's time to sleep. Then place her into her usual sleep position. Your obviously going to have to keep putting her into that position over and over, because chances are she's going to keep getting up. Keep conversation to a minimum, so that you do not stimulate her. Only repeat it's sleepy time if she really resists, whines, or fusses. Your baby could be testing you, to see if you allow her to play. Just keep placing her back. If you did your bedtime routine, and did everything else right, your baby will eventually fall asleep. Because guess what time it is ?...sleepy time, meaning she is already drowsy and tired. Your baby will soon tire out and give up, and fall asleep.

I also encourage lots of playtime on the mat during the day. This helps your baby practice her new skills, so she's not doing it so much at night. Unfortunately there's not much you can do when your baby is going through this part of development. Just wait it out, until your baby learns and masters the skill. She will soon go back to her regular sleep schedule. Learn more about sleep regression here

Teething

For some babies teething can feel like an itch, and for others it can be very painful. But either way, it's annoying and can keep a baby up. 6 months is the average time a baby gets her first tooth, but it can be way earlier or later. Bottom line, you will have to find some way to ease the pain. Talk to to your doctor about some options. You can also check out my article Chamomile for Babies. I have some really neat tips.

Light

Is there any light coming in the room? Perhaps it's a full moon, or your neighbor just bought a new garage light. Lights can really bother a sleeping baby, because they disrupt the sleep-wake cycle. Illumination suppresses Melatonin, the hormone that helps us sleep. If that's the case, just buy room darkening or black out shades. Before we put Brianna in her own room, she slept 2 hours later in our bedroom which has the room darkening shades. That's when we knew we had to do something. She's one of those babies that wakes as soon as there's any bit of light. The shades are great, they keep the bright sunlight out. Some babies are more sensitive than others. Studies show that even a small amount of light can prevent you from going into sleep and staying asleep. You may have to get rid of the cute nightlight you registered for, or cover up the light on the smoke detector. I actually had to cover the green light coming from the baby monitor camera. I just stuck a piece of black tape on the light. I caught Brianna staring at it the first few nights we installed it, it was preventing her from falling asleep. It was such a tiny pin size light, but it still bothered her.

You can buy room darkening shades in Home Depot or Lowe's. You might have to custom order the black out shades, which don't permit any light. You can also check out these blackout shades. I have done some research and these look like they are great quality shades, that don't cost too much. They are less expensive than custom shades and also have great reviews.

Illness
It should be no surprise that a baby that is sick, is now waking in the middle of the night. Wether it's a cold, stomach bug, or just a fever, your baby will have a hard time sleeping due to the discomfort. Stuffy noses cause mouth breathing, and mouth breathing causes dry mouth, which in turn makes your baby wake more frequently. Fevers are also very uncomfortable, even for us adults, so think about what it does to our babies who can't communicate their needs.


If your baby is still waking, for reasons other than the ones mentioned above, you may want to try taking a free sleep report, to see what's going on with your child's sleep. You answer a few questions, and get emailed back a detailed report with suggestions on what to do. Check it out here.

Time to Share!

With the time change this Sunday, I found this article on Baby Center I would like to share. "How time changes, vacations, and temperament will affect your baby's schedule"

When should you start sleep training

Teaching your baby good sleep habits should be done as early as they know the difference between day and night. “By three months, sleep habits are fairly set,” says Dr. Mindell, so it’s crucial to start sleep training before this age. You don't want to  impose anything strict on a newborn. They are confused enough, don't add to the confusion. Give them a few weeks to adjust.

The first part of sleep training which is a bedtime routine, can be done as soon as they get over the initial day/night confusion. For some babies this can be as fast as 2 weeks for others it can take up to 8 weeks. Sleep training while a baby is still confused about day and night can be a set up for failure. A baby is not going to want to lay down to sleep at 8pm when they have been sleeping all day and now they think it's time to play. Help them out. Remind your baby daytime is for playing by keeping blinds open, t.v on, carry on normal conversation and wake the baby up to eat regularly. The opposite goes at night. Quiet voices, dim lights, or lullaby. A sound soother like this one works great to calm a newborn down at night.

After your baby starts spending more time awake during the day and settling down at night, they are ready for a bedtime routine which is going to be at the same exact time every night. Make up a routine that works best for you and your baby. Perhaps a song, massage and story, or anything else your baby likes. Then put your baby to bed awake...yes awake. You want to start good habits straight from the beginning. Remember how you put your baby to sleep is how they will expect to fall asleep when they wake up in the middle of the night. So if you put your baby to sleep awake, and she falls asleep on her own, then she will do the same in the middle of the night. Meaning you won't have to get up to put her back to sleep. Now remember at this point you will still need to get up for feedings. It is too early to wean your baby off of night time feedings, but you are working towards a goal of them just waking for feedings and nothing else. And when they are ready to sleep through the night without any feedings, they will have the skill necessary to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep.


The next part of sleep training is getting your baby to sleep through the night without any feedings, if they are ready of course. Now the age for this varies, and the best person to ask is your Pediatrician. They know your baby best. In order to start weaning your baby off of night-time feedings, they have to be steadily gaining weight, growing in height and not have any medical conditions. Most pediatricians says anywhere from 4-6 months, a baby is ready to sleep through the night without any feeds. And at this point you can start testing your baby to see if they are truly hungry or just using you for comfort. See how to tell the difference here (under hunger). Now just because some babies are ready at this age doesn't mean they will sleep through the night. So don't give up on sleep training just because your baby is not sleeping all the way through. If you are doing everything right and your baby is still only waking up to eat, then that is completely normal. Remember it's not until 9 months that 70-80% of babies sleep through without any feeds. 

Remember that sleep training is not easy and it will never be perfect. Here are some bumps your are going to hit along the road, during the first year. 

0-2 months

• Day/night confusion.-Your baby's sleep-wake cycle doesn't start to develop until 6 weeks, and it's  not completely regular until 3-6 months

• Your baby won't start producing enough melatonin, the hormone that helps us sleep, until about 3 months.Getting to sleep and staying sleep will take major work at this age.

• Your baby will also hit their first 3 growth spurts during this time (1 week, 3 weeks, and 6 weeks)

3-4 month

• First sleep regression. Baby is learning new skills, rolling, turning, kicking and wants to practice even at night when they should be sleeping.

• 3 month growth spurt.

5-7 months

• Sitting. Babies love to practice sitting especially when you lay them down to sleep.This will pass once they have mastered the skill.

• 6 month growth spurt

7-9 months

• Crawling.

• 2nd sleep regression. Babies loves practicing their emerging skills like crawling in their sleep. It's going to be hard to get him to sleep. Be patient once they figure out the skill they are practicing, they  will go back to a normal sleep schedule.

• Babies also understand object permanence at this age. Meaning they know something exists even when its not in sight. So when they wake up at night they miss you and might be looking for you.

9-10 months

• Separation anxiety starts to peak. It's going to be hard for your baby to fall asleep and stay asleep some nights. Especially when you come back from a party or event, where there were unfamiliar faces, your baby will be nervous about separating from you.

• Standing. Your going to lay your baby down and up to a standing position they go. If they are standing up just to practice, this will go away once they mastered the skill. 

11-12 months 

• Language development. Babies are thinking of words they have learned, and may be practicing them in their heads, instead of sleeping.

• 12 month regression. Babies are learning to walk and this can carry over into sleep.

• At this age your baby also will most likely fight everything you ask them to do, especially if it's something they don't want to do, this includes napping and bedtime. Babies at this age like to test you, now that they are discovering that what they do has an effect on your reaction. You might of had a very easy baby up until this point, but now they are fighting being put down every time.

Bragging Moms

Ugh... those annoying bragging moms. Now I'm not talking about about proud moms. There's a difference. We are all proud of our babies, as we should be. I am talking about the moms that constantly boast, brag, and make you feel like you and your baby are inadequate .We all know those moms right? The ones that have conversations that go something like this: "My Johnny was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks. He cut his first tooth at 3 months. And started walking at 6 months" ...Yea ok, and let me guess, he said hippopotamus at 12 months!?!

First of all, if someone is telling you that their baby is sleeping through the night at such a young age. Like they are expecting to get some sort of badge of honor for that. They really need to be put in check and reminded that most babies are not ready to sleep through the night until at least the age of 4 months (4-6 depending on what professional you ask.) It is especially dangerous not to feed your baby for more than 3 hours in the first few weeks of life, 4hrs if you formula feed. A baby needs to eat at least 8-12 times a day for the first month, meaning every 2-3 hours. You actually have to wake your baby if he is not waking to eat, so that she doesn't get dehydrated and blood sugar doesn't fall too low. A baby's stomach is so small. It doesn't hold much and it doesn't take long for it to completely empty again. I'm sure the conversation would change quickly if you present these facts.

People love to brag, why? because they think it makes them look like better parents. They like to make themselves look like parents of the year. As if sleeping through the night, early teeth and walking had anything to do with them or their parenting. It has nothing to do with parenting! Its all part of nature. You can facilitate sleeping through the night but the huge factor lies within the baby's natural ability to fall asleep and stay asleep, at an age when they are good and ready. In fact, according to the National Sleep Foundation, it's not until 9 months, 70-80% of babies start sleeping through the night.

I had someone once tell me their baby was walking at 6 months. So your child is the child that's in the Guinness world book of records?  The only child ever recorded to walk that early? I don't even think people realize the nonsense that comes out of their mouth. The normal range for walking is anywhere from 9-18 months. And the majority of babies don't take their first steps until after their first Birthday. I don't know why people brag about this anyway. I'm not in a rush to have my baby walk. I want to spend more time cuddling with her, rather than chasing after her.

And whats with the first tooth thing? So your baby is cooler than mine because she got her first tooth? Really? What are you bragging about? because you had NOTHING to do with tooth eruption either. Your not a better parent because your child had their first tooth super early. Unless that tooth is made of gold you have nothing to brag about. Every child is different, and develops at different stages. In a few months my baby will have teeth, just like yours.

There is no need to drive yourself nuts over what these kind of moms are saying, and trying to compare your baby to theirs. Chances are, they are not being 100% honest. Since you can't prove whether or not they are telling the truth, the polite thing to do is let it go in one ear and out the other.What's the point of starting an argument over something that might not even be true. If a bragging mom is really getting under your skin, here are some funny comebacks. You also have the choice of not conversing with that person. Why talk to someone that's not  going to be honest with you about their experiences and constantly puts you or your baby down. If you can, avoid these type of moms all together. If you can't, then just simply let them know that you are proud of your child's development and they still have a ways to go to erupt teeth and walk. As far as sleeping through the night, tell them you don't mind waking up at night, it gives you more opportunity to bond with your baby. Make something positive out of the situation. It might stop them from being so annoying!

Every baby is so different. Yes, some do achieve their milestones very early. They walk early, talk early and even sleep through the night early. You should be proud of your little one. However, it is completely unfair to make someone feel like their baby is inadequate because yours hit the milestones early. Perhaps your baby walked early, but will talk very late. It's better to bite your tongue, especially around people who may be struggling with their baby. Babies grow and develop differently. That's why there are such huge age ranges for developmental milestones. Listen to medical professionals on when your baby should reach certain milestones, not Jonhnny's mom.Your pediatrician will let you know when your baby is delayed in an area of development, but chances are you have plenty of time to enjoy watching your baby explore. If you are not sure if your baby is hitting her milestones on time. There is an awesome chart on Baby Center. It shows what most kids at a certain age can do, what half of kids can do, and what very few kids at that age can do. So you can have a good and honest comparison of how your baby stacks up. Here's the chart, just click on your child's age group http://www.babycenter.com/baby-milestones

And if you could use a good laugh about this topic. Take a look at this  "The Humble Brag".

Time to share!

In effort to keep up with my blog, every week or so I will be posting something I would like to share with you. Something that I have come across in the midst of all my crazy research, that I found helpful.

This week I'm sharing a free audio recording I got from sleep specialist Dana Obleman. It answers all your most common sleep questions. Such as: At what age should my child be sleeping through the night?  Should I be using a pacifier to help my baby fall asleep? and many more. Check it out http://www.sleepsense.net/answers/

And if your are interested in getting a free customized sleep report.
www.sleepsense.net

Rolling Over and Tummy Sleeping

Did your baby just figure out how to roll over, and now they insist on sleeping only on their belly? Very common. In fact, that's the only way Brianna sleeps now. It was the scariest thing to me at first. With the SIDS campaign scaring the living you know what out of me, I didn't know what to do. I spent many sleepless nights watching the monitor. She just kept rolling over. And I kept running into her room to flip her back. I was up all night! Once she discovered this wonderful new position, she refused to sleep on her back. And I was faced with, yet another dilemma...

Here are the facts according tot he SIDS campaign: "Parents and caregivers should continue to place babies on their backs to sleep throughout the first year of life". "However, once infants are more developmentally advanced, they often roll over on their own. In this situation, when infants roll over on their own, there is no evidence that they need to be repositioned."

Brianna started rolling in her sleep, shortly after I stopped using the Swaddle Sack. By that time she knew how to roll over in both directions, so I knew she was safe. But being the nurse that I am I needed to further investigate this, so that I had the correct facts. I called my pediatrician and emailed the American Academy of Pediatrics. My pediatrician stated that when a baby is developmentally capable of rolling over in both directions, tummy to back as well as back to tummy. It is ok to leave them sleeping on their belly. Because at this point they are able to get themselves out of that position if need be.

This is the response I got from the AAP (Told you I did alot of research):

Thank you for contacting the American Academy of Pediatrics,

The AAP is a professional membership organization of 60,000 pediatricians, pediatric medical sub-specialists and pediatric surgical specialists dedicated to the health, safety, and well being of infants, children, adolescents and young adults.  Our members are the pediatricians working in communities and hospitals around the world.

The Academy does not have practicing pediatricians on staff to respond to parental requests regarding individual medical conditions, or questions about the Academy's policies and statements. Your best resource for this information is your pediatrician.  

With that said, a common question among caregivers/teachers and parents/guardians is whether they should return the infant to the supine position if they roll onto their side or their tummies. Infants up to twelve months of age should be placed wholly supine for sleep every time. In fact, all children should be placed (or encouraged to lie down) on their backs to sleep. When infants are developmentally capable of rolling comfortably from their backs to their fronts and back again, there is no evidence to suggest that they should be re-positioned into the supine position.

We recommend you follow up with your pediatrician regarding specific questions related to your child. 

Best regards,

Have a wonderful day!

Jill Zubrod-Hernandez, MPH

Program Manager

Healthy Child Care America

Division of Developmental Pediatrics and Preventive Services

847-434-4016

Ok, great now I have my facts and I can finally sleep easy. Well it wasn't easy at first, I still watched the monitor like a mad women to see if she's breathing. I eventually saw that she was safe. She was rolling as she needed to. She didn't get stuck anywhere. Her nose was in clear view and not obstructed by anything...she was fine! 

SIDS

Sudden infant death syndrome. Something no parent wants to even think about. But as a nurse there is no way I could not talk about this. I am a huge advocator of the SIDS campaign. I follow the regulations of safe sleep to the tee and preach it to everyone I know. Some people don't take it as serious and think "My mom did that for years with me and nothing happened". Well guess what? Our moms were lucky nothing happened. They didn't have all the information as we do now. There weren't enough studies done on this issue, if any at all. We now know that certain factors increase the risk of SIDS, so why not just follow the recommendations. Why use the cute crib bumpers, if they pose a risk? No baby has ever died from bumping their head on the crib, but they have from suffocation from crib bumpers.See for yourself Here. What's worse a bump on the head or your baby suffocating?...come on! Some states have already banned the sale of crib bumpers. It won't be long before all states do the same. Just skip them. If you are worried about your baby's legs getting stuck. Put a Wearable Blanket on like we did with Brianna.

Same goes with toys.Why add toys or possible dangers into your babies cribs. They don't need those things to sleep. Our crib is as bare as can be. Yes Brianna looks hideous in it. She's so tiny in this huge open space but she feels snug and safe in her wearable blanket. Here are some other factors that have been linked to a baby's increased risk of  SIDS, provided by PubMed Health:

• Sleeping on the stomach
• Being around cigarette smoke while in the womb or after being born
• Sleeping in the same bed as their parents (co-sleeping)
• Soft bedding in the crib
• Multiple birth babies (being a twin, triplet, etc.)
• Premature birth
• Having a brother or sister who had SIDS
• Mothers who smoke or use illegal drugs
• Being born to a teen mother
• Short time period between pregnancies
• Late or no prenatal care
• Living in poverty situations

Back to sleep
The SIDS or "Back to Sleep" campaign is a national campaign launched in 1994 to help promote positioning babies on their backs to sleep, to reduce sudden infant death syndrome. Studies have shown that that since the campaign the SIDS rate has dropped from 75% to less than 25%. Always place your baby on their back to sleep.



Bare Crib
No toys, blankets, pillows, or anything besides a tight fitting sheet. Yes that means no crib bumpers either. Just a bare crib. This is what it should look like according to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD). If you are worried about how your nursery will look because you still want it to look cute. A company called "Skip Hop" makes bumper free bedding take a look HERE

Other ways to reduce SIDS provided by NIH

Cry it Out

Let me just get to the point, you should never let your baby cry it out! Watching or hearing your baby cry and you do nothing, that's crazy!!! Ok now I have that off my chest so we can go into detail into this topic.

Crying it out also known as  Ferberizing, named after Dr. Richard Ferber is a method used to "help" a baby fall asleep. He introduced this method in his book back in 1985. Basically you put your baby down into their crib and let them cry their little heads off until they eventually fall asleep. He says to check on the baby but only at intervals, something he calls "progressive waiting". Wait let me get this straight, you want me to let my baby cry for 5, 10, 15 minutes and do nothing??? Not my idea of helping my baby go to sleep. Sure my baby will eventually fall asleep...from pure exhaustion!

Here's the real deal, crying it out leaves emotional scars. Studies have shown that frequently leaving your baby to cry can cause long term problems such as anxiety, relationship problems and damage to intellect. According to the Psychologist Darcia Narvaez, Professor of Psychology and Director of the Collaborative for Ethical Education at the University of Notre Dame "letting babies get distressed is a practice that can damage children and their relational capacities in many ways for the long term. We know now that leaving babies to cry is a good way to make a less intelligent, less healthy but more anxious, uncooperative and alienated persons who can pass the same or worse traits on to the next generation."

There are true dangers to to this horrible method. Our baby's only way of communication is through crying. Whether they are hungry, tired, wet, or scared, they will cry. Now if they are communicating that need to you, and you are not responding, how can they possible trust you? How can a baby possibly trust someone that leaves them alone and afraid every time they have to go to bed. Ever notice your baby's cry gets stronger and louder? That's because when they cry, and you don't respond, they go from anxiety to sheer panic...now you really want to leave your baby like that?

Did we forget Erikson's FIRST stage of development, Trust vs Mistrust? I emphasize first because remember his theory, each stage builds on the successful completion of the previous stage. The challenges of stages not successfully completed may be expected to reappear as problems in the future. So If a baby doesn't trust his mommy then why would he be expected to trust anyone else in the future.

Crash course on Erikson's first stage provided by wikipedia :"The first stage of Erik Erikson's theory centers around the infant's basic needs being met by the parents and this interaction leading to trust or mistrust. Trust as defined by Erikson is an essential truthfulness of others as well as a fundamental sense of one's own trustworthiness.The infant depends on the parents, especially the mother, for food, sustenance, and comfort. The child's relative understanding of world and society come from the parents and their interaction with the child. If the parents expose the child to warmth, regularity, and dependable affection, the infant's view of the world will be one of trust. Should the parents fail to provide a secure environment and to meet the child's basic needs a sense of mistrust will result. Development of mistrust can lead to feelings of frustration, suspicion, withdrawal, and a lack of confidence." Need I say more?

Now I'm not saying you have to drop your dishes, and run across the room because your baby is crying. I'm saying purposefully letting your baby cry can be damaging. As I mentioned many studies have been conducted showing these negative traits in children who were left to cry. There are hundreds of publications on this topic. Here are just a few links to the articles from trusted sources.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/science-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

Baby Won't Sleep in the Bassinet

               

Well if I told you I put 
Brianna down in her bassinet for the first time and she smiled with joy, I'd be lying. The fact is that we really struggled with this when we brought her home from the hospital. She would sleep in her swing, newborn napper, bouncer, but not her bassinet. We had a "Arms Reach Co-Sleeper" so it was like a mini crib. I was determined to figure out why she slept so soundly in everything else but the Co-Sleeper. It didn't take long to figure out, however it took some investigative work. Don't you wish babies could talk?

I realized all of these swings and nappers had something in common. They were all positioned in such a manner, that recreated a snug and womb-like environment, something all babies love. So I picked apart all the differences between the nappers and her Co-Sleeper bassinet, and created that same snug feeling.

First huge difference, they were all elevated. Of course! My baby never slept flat in my belly. It makes total sense that she freaks out when I lay her flat. My Pediatrician recommended I fold or roll a towel under the mattress of the Co- Sleeper. And Ta Da!! She didn't cry when I put her down!!! Just a small incline will do, and if your baby is already in her crib, you can buy a Crib Wedge. With the incline, she actually gave the co-sleeper a chance. She stayed in it for a few minutes at first, then eventually longer and longer. 

I also gave my baby some "practice time" in the the Co-Sleeper. When she was happy and alert, like after a good feeding. I just let her explore in there. This gave her a chance to get use to the Co-Sleeper, and feel safe in something other than my arms. I did this a few times a day, for several days, until one day she just got tired, and even fell asleep in it all by herself. But we weren't done yet. I knew I had to keep working on this. 

The second big difference I noticed in her nappers, is that they were all snug. They had padding or newborn positioners, to make the baby feel just as she did in my belly. Ok got it, HALO SleepSack. I remembered I registered for one and haven't used it. I took it right out and wrapped her all up. Now we're getting somewhere I thought. I put her down, she's wasn't crying and she actually fell asleep!

Now for the hardest part, she wasn't staying asleep. I watched her night after night. She rolling her head around side to side.What the heck was she doing? One night she stretched her neck out like a turtle and dug her face into the top of the co-sleeper and fell asleep. The top of the Co-Sleeper was soft. So she actually used that part of the bed to soothe herself back to sleep. Ok great, now I have to worry about her suffocating because the only way she will fall back asleep is by digging her face into something soft. This was a tough one! Thanks to the SIDS campaign we all know, no toys, blankets, or anything for that matter, in the crib. What the heck was I suppose to do??? I watched how she napped during the day and noticed the same thing. She liked to fall asleep by putting her face into something soft. Then it dawned on me, let me change the sheets. The ones I had were plain, kind of stiff, cotton sheets. She liked things that were soft or plush. So this is what I found Carters Velour Sheets. They are as thin as cotton, no unsafe plush, no padding whatsoever. Its just a very, very, thin velour. And guess what? It worked! Brianna felt that nice soft texture up against her face, she moved her head side to side a few times and was able to soothe herself to sleep. I'm not surprised, that's probably what she was doing for 9 months in my belly. Believe it or not things are pretty comfy in there. She wasn't sleeping through the night just yet though. There were many other factors, like adjusting nap times, and feeding schedules. But at this point she was capable of putting herself to sleep independently, as well as soothe herself back to sleep. That's huge!


So I basically re-created a womb like environment to comfort my baby, and help her sleep. Kind of makes sense right? It was something so simple but not so obvious without doing some work. She no longer cries or whines when I lay her down. Once we figured out how to get her to like her Co-Sleeper, we started working on how to get her to sleep through the night, which you can read more about here. 

My Recommended Sleep Items

Halo SleepSack

The SleepSack is great and it's a necessity when a 
baby is transitioning from being in the womb to the outside world. It's no secret that babies love and need to be swaddled. Not only that, babies tend to wake up due to the Startle Reflex (Read more on that here) Start with the SwaddleSack and transition into the other wearable blankets as your baby grows. The velcro is great on the swaddle because you won't need to worry about fixing the baby in the middle of the night when she unwraps herself as with regular receiving blankets. My favorite is the micro fleece, it's super cozy, but they also come in cotton. Not only are these convenient but most importantly they reduce the risk of SIDS. Remember the crib should always be bare, so these make great blankets.

                   As Baby Grows, Grow with HALO

When your baby grows out of the swaddle, Halo makes sleepsacks that grow with your baby. The swaddle can only be used for a short time (until your baby starts rolling). This wearable blanket is the next best thing. Your babies arms will not be swaddled, but by that point it won't be safe to do so anyway. The legs will still be in a sack, which is great because it makes the transition easy. They come in a variety of colors, like this adorble Winnie the Pooh Wearable Blanket. 

The Micro-Fleece, like the one pictured below is one of my favorite too.

 

Carter's Sleep Bag

This is also another type of sleep sack. But what's great about this is that it has sleeves which keep your baby warm and cozy. It's a very soft and thin micro-fleece material. My baby actually snuggles up against her own sleeve, when she goes to bed. This is a really great sleep sack for young babies transitioning out of the swaddle. The sack part is much smaller than the Halo so it makes your baby still feel sort of swaddled at the feet. It's snug at the body, so it's awesome for babies who are really dependent on swaddling. I say it's great for young babies because it only comes in one size 0-9months, and 9 months is pushing it. I would say more like 6 months, unless your baby is really small or short. When your baby outgrows it, you can then switch to a Halo, which is just a bigger/wider and sleeveless version of this sleep sack.

Arms Reach Co-sleeper 

This like no other bassinet. It actually attaches to your bed and gives you clear vision of your baby. Great for middle of the night breastfeeding. Your baby can sense your are next to her and sleep soundly. It's like sleeping with your baby but safer. It's a great option especially for newborns who tend to have a hard time falling asleep without you.    

Here is a short video that introduces the Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper.

Sound Soother           

Any kind of sound soother will do. As you already may know, newborns don't really like silence. It was so noisy in the womb. So these are great in the beginning as long as your baby doesn't rely on them to fall asleep. Make sure to get one with the womb sounds. Use it to help them relax before bedtime. Great wind-down routine item.

The Dex sound sleeper is one of the best soothers on the market. It is the ONLY audio soother with an actual recording made inside a mothers womb. Sound and motion reactivate the recording. The sound soother worked miracles for us, Brianna stopped crying immediately when she heard the "swooshing" noise. You can get it for about $20 On Amazon.                                                     

Skip Hop Bumper Free Bedding. 

I'm a huge advocate of the SIDS campaign and crib safety. But I also want my baby's nursery to look like a nursery. I did some research and found a company that makes cute and stylish bumper free bedding. Take a look here

Carter's Velour Sheets

This is another one of my sleepy time must-haves. Both of my babies used the texture of this thin velour sheet, to soothe themselves to sleep. I absolutely love these sheets! They were crucial part of helping my babies learn to self soothe, and fall asleep on their own. It's hard to find something to give your baby to sleep with, especially when everyone scares you about SIDS. With this sheet alone, we didn't need any blankets, or stuffed animals. My babies just rubbed their face and hands across the smooth texture of this sheet to fall asleep. It's pretty genius, if you think about it.

Blackout Curtains 

This is a no brainer. You absolutely need blackout or room darkening curtains in your baby's nursery. There will be times when you will really regret not having these. Like when there's a full moon, during daylight savings time, or when your neighbor buys a new garage light. Blackout curtains or shades also filter out light during the day, which is perfect for naps. I recommend the ones pictured below, because they filter out 99.9% of light. They are also thermal insulated, which keeps the heat out during the summer, and keeps cold out during the winter.